Babies cry. But if it seems
that's all your  infant does, yet you just can't calm her down,
you may feel distressed,  exhausted, even demoralized. How are you
supposed to feel okay about going  back to work once maternity
leave is over?

"Any mom whose baby constantly cries feels vulnerable," says 
Linda Gilkerson, PhD, director of the Fussy Baby Network
(www.fussybabynetwork.org,  888-431-BABY) and a professor at
Erikson Institute, a graduate school of  child development in
Chicago. But don't feel it's your fault. "Babies  can cry and fuss
despite excellent parenting." Why? Generally it's  attributed to
colic—unexplained crying in a healthy baby that goes  on for more
than three hours a day, three or more days a week for longer  than
three weeks. About one in five babies experiences colic, which is
normal  for that baby but feels far from normal for the parent.
(After all, your  neighbor's baby doesn't cry all the time.)

Occasionally, an infant's constant crying is allergy- or
digestion-related. So check with your pediatrician  if your baby
won't calm down. But mostly there's no clear reason for colic, which
usually subsides around age  3 months. If it goes on much longer,
your pediatrician can screen for developmental  concerns and
suggest intervention.

In the meantime, share your feelings and  frustrations with your
partner, your mom or a good friend. "You don't  need to hide or go
it alone or feel like you're not a good mom," says  Dr. Gilkerson.
Also, watch your baby's day to see when she's  happiest and when
she's  most distressed, and notice when you're most distressed and
tired. "At  the times when you're both the most challenged, enlist
someone to help  if you can, or at least prepare yourself."

Dr. Gilkerson suggests saying  to yourself, "I'm going to
have  my glass of water ready for me, and I'm going to wrap the
baby tightly  in her blanket and walk around with her on my
shoulder." Then, as you hold and comfort her, say, "I know you're going
to feel better. If the situation is very distressing, put your baby
down for a bit and say, "I'm  going to let you rest now, and I'm
going to take a break." By verbalizing these things, you reassure
yourself that you're taking  care of your baby and yourself, that
you're doing your best and that  you'll get through it together.
In the same way, talk yourself and  your baby through distress
when you drop her off at day care or leave her  with your
caregiver.

"Moms often call us when they're ready to go back to work," says 
Dr. Gilkerson. "It can be very hard because they're anxious about 
separating when they don't have it all together. But with a very
challenging  baby, going to work can be helpful because you share
the caregiving." That  can be good for both you and your baby.

4 Super Soothers
Baby-calming strategies from Cindy Jurie of Erikson Institute's Partners in Care program: