Since your grade schooler was a baby, you've showed him what it means to be kind and caring—values that matter so much to you. But now that he's increasingly exposed to our world's social and media influences, the challenge of maintaining these values heightens. The violence in video games and TV shows, the "mean" kids at school ... just how do you keep your kid on the road to goodness?

The answer lies in one of life's universal principles: "Focus on what you can control, not on what you can't," says Carolyn Zahn-Waxler, PhD, a senior scientist in psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Peers come and go, but you are your child's constant role model. As busy as you are at work and at home, put this focus on kindness at the top of your parenting priorities by continuing to be caring toward your child, your family and even strangers.

Also be sure to encourage his empathy, which will foster a "do unto others" attitude, says Dr. Zahn-Waxler, whose groundbreaking study for the National Institute of Mental Health showed that children are capable of empathy from a very young age. You might point out a news story like kids battling illness at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, where cost is always covered. When he turns around to call a sick friend, you'll know that kindness is catching on.

Even caring children slip up. So if your child does something unkind, say something. "Calmly explain the consequences of his actions and why his behavior is not acceptable," advises Dr. Zahn-Waxler. "If, say, he hurt a friend, ask him how he can help his pal feel better." This will help him learn to take responsibility for his actions.

Of course, you'll also want to catch your kid being kind. Did he voluntarily push his sister on the backyard swing? Tell him how much you appreciate it, and that such caring ways make him a good role model for his peers. Amidst all the other influences, your consistency can be a driving force in your child's behavior—and he'll learn that kindness can lead to a cool life. 

Kindness Cues Use your words. Talk regularly about what respect and kindness mean to you. And find moments to seal the deal, like telling your kid how nice he was that day.

Show him how. When you bring flowers to a coworker, hold a door open for an elderly person or run an errand for your spouse, you model what kindness means.

Be nice together. Volunteering with you a few hours a month will help your child understand how his caring ways can help make the world a better place.