Caroline Cheng defies all the stereotypes. For one thing, her suits are
professional-looking yet fashionable and flattering—hardly the
buttoned-up style one might expect to see on a corporate lawyer. For
another, the willowy 37-year-old is brash, funny and quick to speak her
mind—far from the cliched image of the reticent Asian-American woman.
And as for fitting into some notion of a harried, conflicted working
mother, the wide smile on Caroline's face when she speaks about her
love for her job and her family takes that idea, drop-kicks it into the
trash can and slams the lid shut.

There are, of course, constant adjustments and compromises, as most
parents who have demanding careers can tell you. Because she's one of
the litigation attorneys in the office of the general counsel at
Deloitte & Touche, the global financial services company, Caroline
is responsible for defending the firm in important lawsuits and
regulatory matters. Her husband, Laurence Levi, 37, whom she met at
Columbia Law School, is an investment banker who recently launched his
own firm with offices in Chicago, New York City and London. The couple
settled in Chicago after graduation, but Caroline was offered an
attractive position at Deloitte in 2004, so they relocated to New York.
There's no question that both are dedicated to their careers, just as
there's no question that they've both made their marriage and their
children, Isabel, 6, and William, 4, top priorities.

Much of what Caroline does—talk to clients and outside counsel, review
documents and meet with colleagues—can be accomplished in the New York
office. Still, she is sometimes required to go out of town—to discuss
regulatory matters  with government officials in Washington, DC,
for instance. But Caroline keeps business travel to a minimum. "I
travel only when absolutely necessary and try to limit being away from
home to one night at a time," she says. "Laurence and I also make every
effort not to take business trips at the same time. On the rare
occasions when we both have to be out of town, we try to have one of
our moms stay with the children."

Laurence and Caroline have a trusted caregiver, but Caroline counts it
as a blessing that her husband owns his own business and can build
flexibility into his schedule to be with their children. "When my
husband isn't traveling on business, he drops off the kids at school
and picks them up every day," she says. "I'm a class parent for my
daughter's kindergarten class, which means I help organize events and
make calls to parents. But because Laurence is able to flex his
schedule more than I can, the other parents recognize him more than
me." Yet there's not a trace of envy as Caroline describes how close
her children are to their dad and to their caregiver, Leba. "As far as
I'm concerned, the more people who love my kids, the better. There's no
downside to that."
This hands-on style of child rearing is something Caroline and Laurence
have modeled after the way they were raised. "My husband's mother was a
stay-at-home mom and also an amazing role model—which is evident when
you see the wonderful children she raised," says Caroline. "And while
my parents both worked, they somehow managed to always be there for my
brother and me. We never had anyone else take care of us except for an
occasional babysitter."

Now that she's a working parent herself, Caroline marvels at how well
her parents juggled responsibilities at work and at home. Both were
scientists who emigrated from Taiwan before Caroline and her brother
were born. Her mother is a researcher at the National Cancer Institute
(NCI) in Bethesda, MD. Her father, who passed away in April 2002 after
a long-term battle with a debilitating neurological illness, was an
engineer at the U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission. Caroline's mom
flexed long before that term became a part of the workplace vernacular.
"There were many times when my mother had to stop by the lab and check
in on one of her experiments after she picked up my brother and me from
music or dance lessons," Caroline recalls. "So we did our homework at
the library at the U.S. National Institutes of Health [NCI's umbrella
organization] while we waited for her."

Family values weren't the only principle Caroline inherited from her
parents. As the daughter of immigrants, she also had a close-up view of
a strong work ethic and a reverence for education. "We knew the reason
we were all here was that my parents worked so hard to achieve
academically back in Taiwan," Caroline says. And even though her parents' message to her
and her brother was simply to do their best and be happy, Caroline felt
pressure to achieve in appreciation for their huge efforts. Another
influence was the suburban Maryland community they lived in. It was
home to many highly educated Asian-American professionals who, like
Caroline's parents, worked very hard and had a strong sense of pride in
achievement.

To her own children, Caroline tries to impart the message that they
should give their all in whatever they're doing?just what her parents
told her when she was growing up. "I want my children to make good
decisions and put in their best effort—not necessarily be the best,"
says Caroline. "I want them to
develop a sense of professionalism and a system of values, as I like to
think I did, and learn to be independent thinkers." At the same time,
she's wary about putting too much focus on achievement. "One of the
worst things I felt I could do was disappoint my family," she says. "I
want my children to know that while school and work are very important,
there is more to life. And Laurence and I are very tuned in to their
cues. They're such interesting little people with their own opinions
and preferences. If we see, for example, that Isabel is moody or not
herself, we stop and ask why and try to find out what's going on or
what's not working for her."

Caroline does make a point of sharing her love of her work with her
children. When one of her kids gets clingy and wants her to stay home,
she knows that her attitude about her work will carry them all through.
"I tell them that I want to be with them, too, but I go to work because
I also love my job and it makes me happy," she says. "I want to avoid
the impression that I have to go. I would never tell them that I have
to work to make money to buy them things—I want them to understand that
it's a choice I make that isn't related to them. Then, at the end of
the day, we talk about what was good and what wasn't good about our
days, so we can share our experiences and work things out together."

Caroline applies this positive attitude to the inevitable juggling she
must do. "One of the most freeing things for me has been the
realization that I can't be a hundred percent in every area every day,"
she says. "I try to assess what the priorities are for that day and do
my best to meet them, without wasting energy worrying about what I
don't get done." An example of this day-to-day prioritizing: visits
Caroline and her mother made to Isabel's and William's schools in
January to do presentations on Chinese New Year. "I had to get to the
office late those days, which meant that I had to work those nights
after the kids went to bed," she explains. "But seeing how happy it
made my children and their classmates made it all worthwhile." Caroline
knows that sometimes something's gotta give, and that's okay. "Am I at
every ballet recital and soccer game? No. But I'm there for some of
them. Do I make important school events? Yes."

She credits Deloitte with giving her—and all its employees—the support
they need to do their jobs without sacrificing their personal lives.
"I'm a woman, a minority and a working mother," says Caroline. "In the
two short years I've been here, I've had numerous opportunities to be
visible in the firm. I appreciate Deloitte's confidence in me, just as
I appreciate their efforts to keep and retain women and a diverse
workforce."

Because so much of the week is about scheduling and school and work,
Caroline pays particular attention to keeping her family's free time,
well, free. "Laurence and I try not to plan things on the weekends,"
she says. "The best times are when we're doing nothing?eating, talking
and just hanging out." Caroline calls these moments "in-between times,"
when they're not rushing from point A to point B. She's learned the
importance of really being present for her children at these times.
"That's when we can talk about things—what's going on in school, what's
on their minds."
Along these lines, she tries not to schedule too many afterschool
activities, keeping at least three afternoons a week free for Isabel
and William just to be home together and chill. "In these fast-paced
times, I think it's good for kids to do nothing once in a while," says
Caroline. "In fact, it's great when we can all do nothing together as a
family!"