I am 94 years old, and I have had many honors in my life: mentor to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., friend of Eleanor Roosevelt, advisor to presidents from Dwight Eisenhower to Bill Clinton, chair and president emerita of the National Council of Negro Women. But none of this could have happened without my mother.

When I was in high school I entered a contest that involved giving a speech on the Constitution of the United States. I won at local and regional levels and went on to the national contest, which was held in an armory in Chicago. There were more people in the armory that day than lived in my small town in Pennsylvania. But when we got home, my mother said, "Dorothy, your speech sounded much better in the armory than it did in the kitchen." I didn't realize then, but as I look back I realize that it was in our kitchen, as she listened to my speech and helped me with it, that I gained the confidence to go to the armory—and beyond.

Being a mother is easy; being a good mother is hard. You have to take the time to talk to your children and encourage every positive step. Getting that kind of support is something I will always cherish, because I was shy as a child. My mother and my teachers always prodded me to keep going. It is important that mothers help their children build on their strengths and dissuade them from following the crowd. Children don't need other people to tell them who they are—they have to know it for themselves.

Perhaps the most important question we all have to answer is "Who am I?" When you feel like you know who you are and feel secure in who you are, you're on the right track. There were very few African Americans in my school, and I hated it when we studied history and got to slavery. Like the other children who were of color, I was embarrassed: I was a descendant of slaves. It wasn't until I read some books by Carter G. Woodson [known as the father of black history] and began to study a little more about African-American history that I began to have a different feeling. I realized that my ancestors were from Africa—but they were not slaves in Africa. They were made slaves when they came to the United States. I also began to realize that slavery wasn't my problem, it was other people's problem. As I grew older, I searched my history more and more. Only two weeks ago, in fact, I found out that my ancestors were from Sierra Leone.

One of my disappointments is that we came through a civil rights movement where so many people gave their time and energy and lost their lives for the right to vote, and now we have to urge young people to cast a ballot. We missed something. There is a gap between what we achieved in the civil rights movement and what is happening now. Today so many young people breeze through open doors, but they have no idea how they were opened. They do not understand the impact of segregation law and its drain on humanity. Today there are still vestiges of racism and sexism, but young people don't see them or feel them. They're more concerned about their own advancement than lifting others up from the bottom.

Many don't want to hear or learn about history. Recently a woman told me that until her 14-year-old son saw the play about my life [If This Hat Could Talk, a musical on national tour], he would never discuss civil rights with her. Immediately afterward, though, he had so many questions. He could not believe some of the conditions his mom could describe firsthand. For so many young people, Dr. King is just a speech. They don't realize that this man—whom I first met when he was a 15-year-old trying to make his mind up whether to go into law, medicine, education or the ministry—changed the system under which we all live.

Children are often told, "You're the leaders of tomorrow." But I hope they feel—as I did—that they are today's youth leaders. Young people have to take an active hand. As a teenager I was active in the United Christian Youth Movement, where I organized a committee against lynching and worked against the poll tax and chain gangs. So it was a natural progression for me to continue in civil rights. I felt like I was helping to build a new world.

It's extremely important for young people to be concerned about what's happening to the poor, the suffering and the disadvantaged. Otherwise, all they care about is themselves and their friends. Children need to set their sights not on money but on goals worth achieving. If they do, they will learn a not-so-secret secret: When you work on things in a substantive way, you'll earn a better living. Early in my life, I set goals, and I have tried to reach those goals and stay with them. I developed a sense of purpose and focus about issues of justice, race and equality. When I look back over my life, I'm most proud of that.This guest columnist: Dr. Dorothy Height, author of Open Wide the Freedom Gates: A Memoir, has been a leading force in the civil and women's rights movements for more than 70 years. In 2004, she was awarded the Congressional Gold Medal.