Struggling to find time for yourself, in between tending your kids and doing your job? This CNN coanchor describes her hectic but happy scramble for balance.

I can't imagine my mother, Estela O'Brien, who was herself a working mom, ever struggling with the guilt thing. She's the woman, I'm certain, who coined the phrases "Because I said so" and "You and I are not the same person, Missy." I can't remember my mom ever flinching at anything when I was growing up. She expected to raise her kids (all six of us), run her house and have her own identity, which included her job as a Spanish and French teacher. The act of juggling work and home frustrated her sometimes (did I mention she had six kids?). But I have an acute recollection of her having her own interests—her teaching, her trips to the theater, her hobbies—while at the same time supporting, along with my dad, her kids' endeavors. When I ran track in high school, my mom took up jogging and would chug around the track while I worked out. Speed wasn't the point. What mattered was that it was her time for herself and nobody else.

But now that my twins, Charlie and Jackson, are 8 months old, and I'm trying to get back to the gym, I can't help feeling a little guilty as I head out the door to work off my postbaby tummy. Sometimes my two older children, Sofia, 4, and Cecilia, 3, each grab hold of my legs, or resort to full-body flailing, to keep me from zipping around the corner to the health club. That's when I tell them that I'm not leaving forever; I'm simply taking time for myself and getting healthy. I remind them that, one day, I hope they'll do what I'm doing: following my mom's example of having a fulfilling life that includes my dad, us kids and a demanding job.

What I've been a bit unprepared for is the latent hostility from people who feel obligated to weigh in on the choices I've made as a mother. Fortunately, I've been blessed with great mentors and role models, such as journalist Katie Couric, who is fully a mom; diplomat Madeleine Albright, who shared her ideas for raising happy, confident kids; and first lady Laura Bush, who told me about how she juggled bedtime reading to twins. But every so often, a mean ol' email sneaks its way into my psyche. The latest missive came from a woman I'll call Barbara, who wrote to comment on my work covering the tsunami in Thailand last winter.

As a journalist, I felt the tsunami was a crucial story to cover. As a human being, I found it impossible not to be moved by the heartbreaking stories and awful suffering I witnessed. As a partner and mother,

I missed my husband and my kids terribly. It was work, but such meaningful work. Anyway, back to Barbara. In her angry note, she questioned who was in charge at our home while I was away. (Hint: That would be the kids' dad—my husband, Brad.) The real heroes, she went on to say, "are those who are an everyday loving presence in their children's lives." Ouch! For a couple of days, her words really bugged me. And by the end of the week, I was pissed off. For some perspective, I ran Barbara's comments by my mom, who advised me to stop stewing over what other people think.

Mom's right—Barbara doesn't know me and has no idea how I run my life or my family. The loving presence in the lives of my children is their mom and their dad. There also are the great teachers who've taught Sofia to spell her name and Cecilia to sing "Go Tell It on the Mountain." And their great babysitters who read, sing and play with them. And their grandparents who rock them on their laps and read them bedtime stories. And the other moms at my girls' preschool who seek me out when I'm a little too crazed to schedule playdates. And my girlfriends who don't have kids of their own yet pop by to hold the boys till they get their fill. I'm blessed with a village that helps me raise my kids and fulfill my ambitions and dreams. And I'm part of making other's lives run, too—my husband's, my siblings', my friends' and those of the people I work with at CNN.

My mother, who's 75 and will celebrate 45 years of marriage to my dad this winter, once told my husband and me that, as parents, we set the tone for the values that exist in our family. Children can usually sense when you're unhappy. Whether you choose to work or not to work, pick what's right for you and what makes sense for your family and embrace it!

These days, Sofia and Cecilia are playing "businesswomen." They dress up, usually as Cinderella and Belle, put little handbags on their arms and push their strollers around the apartment. When I ask where they're going, one will say: "I'm off to a meeting, Mommy. I love you, and I'll see you later." I hope that's an early sign that so far, I'm setting a good example for my kids to value family and work—and never lose sight of who they are.

Our Guest Columnist Soledad O'Brien lives in New York City with her husband and four children. She's the coanchor of CNN's American Morning and is writing a book for release next summer on the critical role that family plays in one's personal success.